Trying to be HOPE for others
Updated: Jan 20, 2019
I lost my youngest son, Joe, to suicide on November 18th, 2005. As I write this I still can't believe it. And that is after 12 years.
Joe was a funny, caring young man who was a guy that everyone turned to when they needed someone. He was handsome, humorous, and loved his family and friends to the moon and back.
His death has changed my life and that of many others who loved him.
I could concentrate on all of the horror that surrounds losing my baby to suicide, or I can move forward and try to help others. Sort of like what road shall I travel. I choose to travel the road to help others in honor of him. I want others to know that you can live through this. Is it easy? NO. Sometimes it feels impossible, and I feel helpless, but......I move forward. I do what I need to do to stay alive and as well as possible.
How would one get through the most horrific thing in their life? Well, my husband Vic use to take me out in nature. Sounds weird doesn't it? I learned to look at what is out there, saw signs that I believe were signs that my son was still with me, but in a different form. I saw writing in the sky, a young boy that looked like Joe, a penny that came from nowhere. All signs in my mind that helped me get through. I also meditated. I had a special place I would go nightly (in my mind) and I would find Joe there and he and I would go out to a swing and talk.
My oldest son, Dave, taught me to be grateful. I always was grateful I thought. But he taught me that you can be grateful of the smallest thing, like being able to make your bed. Being grateful of what I did have helped me.
My son Chris taught me that my life wasn't just about me. That it was about all of those people that love me so I needed to be well for not only myself but for all of those who love me and need me.
Through the love of my mom, my siblings, my extended relatives, and good friends, I was able to cry when I needed, and hugged when I needed. Without every single person, I don't think I would have gotten through.
So when I start feeling sorry for myself I try really hard to be grateful and realize that Joe is still with me. I try to do those positive things that I need to do to keep sane, or as sane as one can after losing a child.
I started the JD Foundation to honor my son, but also to help others. I truly believe had I known then what I know now that Joe would still be here. Getting involved to have a solution for others has helped me tremendously. I hope you will consider not sweeping suicide under the run and possibly getting involved in one way or another.
Please feel free to connect with me via email firstname.lastname@example.org
With much love to all,