Henry My Son
I lost my son Henry to suicide on Feb 6th of 2017. He was a handsome, intelligent and caring young man. There were no indications that he was considering ending his life. He had no previous history of mental illness and exhibited no outward signs of depression or giving up. He was in his second semester of college, had a serious girlfriend and a job that he loved. The only risk factor for him was his father's suicide in 2009. I do believe that this was a large part of his decision.
As Henry's mom I can't help but wonder if I had done some things differently or talked more then maybe my son would still walk this earth. I am sure that all survivors of suicide loss wrestle with these same things. I do not blame myself, but I wish things were different. I am no longer the person that I used to be nor do I want to be. Henry's death has changed me and there is no going back.
As I move forward my only desire is to help other families dealing with suicide and maybe to be instrumental in suicide awareness and prevention. I have watched my family shattered twice by suicide and that is the hardest part of this journey. Watching the people you love the most deal with the excruciating pain and not be able to take it away is torture.
Please be grateful for every day and be sure to tell the ones you love how you feel about them often. Life is a gift never to be taken for granted.